Most of us long to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Songs are created about finding and sustaining love. In addition; a day has been dedicated to couples celebrating romance and love. Dating is fun. Falling in love, while scary, is also fun. The “honeymoon phase” of a relationship is fun and blissful. On the other side of this fun are challenges. All relationships experience the normal ups and downs and ebbs and flows. Through my observations, experiences and interviewing; I have learned that being a good partner sustains a relationship.
While there are many components to being a good partner, I have highlighted four that I find to be most impactful:
Give 100%: I often hear people say “a relationship is 50-50.” 50-50 equates to each person giving half the effort. Can a relationship be successful with each person only giving 50% of their efforts? Is the person you claim to love worth half of your efforts? True partnership is giving your all with no reservations.
Selflessness: The ability to place your partner’s needs before your own. You replace the “I” for the “we.” When making decisions you are factoring how your decisions will impact your significant other. It is not just about you, it’s about team US.
Don’t hold grudges: Disagreements and even arguments will occur in relationships. Use the disagreements as an opportunity to gain a better understanding of your partner. Continue to communicate about the disagreement with each other. Forgive and move on. Holding grudges with your partner weakens the relationship.
You play for the same team: When your teammate is having a bad day, offer support, encouragement or give him/her the space needed to recuperate. A good partner does not down talk their mate to others. A good partner speaks life and has the uncomfortable, but necessary conversations with their mate.
When you’re in a true partnership you learn and grow together. As my husband says, “you become two halves of one whole genius.”
Now it’s time to hear from you! What makes you a good partner? What do you think it takes to sustain a relationship?
Sharise Hemby-Nance is a licensed therapist and award winning author with 15 years of experience in individual and couples counseling. For more information or assistance with relationship building or couples packages please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit http://www.hihcounseling.com