Loss vs Life Lesson: 4 Powerful Life Lessons

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” is a famous quote by the legendary Vince Lombardi that encompasses the historical concept of competition. Most, if not all of us, have probably felt a sense of accomplishment, gained more confidence, momentum and motivation as a result of winning.  When discussing the concept of winning, we must remember that winning is short term, but being a winner is long term.  It is impossible to become a winner without experiencing loss. Losing often evokes feelings of defeat, failure, shame, embarrassment and sadness.   Oftentimes we are devastated by the loss and struggle to see the lesson in the loss.  Depending on perception, losing can be humbling or it can become a barrier.  Embracing a loss or a failure on any level is a journey, your unique journey that only YOU can experience.

In my personal and professional experiences with various losses and failures, I have devised 4 lessons to share that have been helpful in my journey. These lessons are not created to invalidate your experience, but to help you put your losses into perspective and make the decision to get unstuck.

  1. Hardships are inevitable and helpful: Life happens on life terms. At times you may find yourself feeling like you are in a boxing match exchanging blows; and then life finally knocks you out. It is not about how hard you get punched or how many times you get knocked out. How many blows can you withstand? How many times can you get back up after taking life’s hardest hit and keep moving forward? Winners take a lot of losses and return to the game of life stronger.
  2. Don’t live in your fears: What would you do if you were not afraid of losing or failing? Oftentimes our decision to do or not do something is based on our fears. Whether you are starting a new job, quitting a job to build a business, running a marathon, moving on from an unhealthy relationship; making the decision to not live in such fears will require risk, struggle and sacrifice. This can be a terrifying step for many of us. Ask yourself if the fear in taking this step is more powerful than missing a life-changing opportunity.
  3. Life is a marathon, not a sprint: Life comes at you fast and it is imperative that you are equipped with the tools to slow life down. After a loss it may take some time to recover, heal and move on. You are building up the endurance to bear this obstacle and prepare for the next obstacle that gets in your way. Embrace this process and take the time needed to reflect on the lesson in this loss.  Remember, it doesn’t matter how slow you go, just don’t stop.
  4. I am in charge of me: You are the captain of your ship, the pilot of your plane and the driver of your car. You are ultimately responsible for the direction in which your life will travel. Seeking validation from others invalidates you and often gets in the way of you taking positive action. I discuss this concept in depth in my book Vitamin C: Healing for the Mind, Body and Soul. I challenge you to live each day being the best version of you. Remember, you are the CEO of YOU.

“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson” ~Dalai Lama

Life is full of lessons. We are free to make choices, but we are not free from the consequences of those choices.

I would love to hear from you. What are some lessons that you have learned as a result of life’s hardships?  Also, what makes you a winner?

Sharise Hemby-Nance is a licensed therapist and award winning author with 15 years of experience in individual life coaching and counseling.   For more information or assistance with adjustment and life transitions, please contact me at vitaminchealing@gmail.com




5 thoughts on “Loss vs Life Lesson: 4 Powerful Life Lessons

  1. debhnelson says:

    Thanks for addressing this issue, Sharise. We’re taught from a very young age that winning is everything. Yes, we all want to win. What we’re not always taught is that we also win through losing: learning how to hold our head high when things don’t go as expected, realizing that life goes on when we fail. The valuable lessons we learn through loss and failure carry us through our next experiences. Your four lessons really shape how we can put our losses and failures in perspective to move forward and experience joy and success.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not a fan of competitive anything other than to be the best you can be at any given moment. Truly wish our vocabulary dumped the words ‘fail’ ‘lose’. I agree we can learn valuable lessons from all of our experiences without these labels. The 4 steps you describe reduces the sting of these words.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gisele Grenier says:

    My biggest lesson is that being successful has nothing to do with how much money you make, how big your house is or how many cars you have in your driveway.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a great reminder post, Sharise, as life isn’t about how the world outside of you views you, but how you view yourself. I remember when my daughter was taking Karate (she was only six at the time and the school had never admitted a girl before, but we changed all that), and the sensei was more about competition and winning then about the experience. One day after getting her third level belt, she told us she didn’t want to do karate anymore. She didn’t like the competitive pressure, so we took her out of the school.

    I agree with you that so often, fear is what stops people from moving forward in their lives and something I believe I have taken on in my life in relationship to health and healing. I was told a lot of things from medical professionals among others, things that other people might have accepted at face value. I worked through any fears or doubts and forged my own path which ultimately brought me back to full health and wellness, which is why I am part of a team that helps support others to take their health to the next level for themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Sharise 🙂
    Wonderful post and something that is so important to think about if we wish to move ahead in our lives. Thinking about my “hardships” I have to say that so many of them were driven by “fear” of one thing or another and I have to say that at this point in my life, that “fear” does not control me any longer! You must live with confidence and belief that your life is worth it and that you are worthy 🙂

    Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s